Donald Trump pivots; begins campaigning as beautiful young Dane

ALBUQUERQUE – Following his hiring Wednesday of former Breitbart Executive Chairman Steve Bannon and Republican strategist Kellyanne Conway, Donald Trump announced Friday morning he would begin pivoting his campaign to complete the 2016 election running as an attractive 19-year-old Danish model.

“Listen folks, many people are saying Crooked Hillary Clinton just doesn’t have the stamina – something’s not right folks – she doesn’t have the energy anymore, okay?” said Trump speaking at a rally Friday in Albuquerque. “But look at Trump. Yesterday I’m a 70-year old businessman, this morning, 19-year-old European runway model.”


Donald Trump speaks in New Mexico Friday. (AP Photo)

Speaking to reporters later in the day Trump elaborated on his campaign’s shift saying, “I know women, many women. And, they all tell me, they tell me that Trump is now really just the best teenaged Nordic woman. Just a tremendous dark-haired, light-skinned gorgeous woman from Thorsminde, Denmark.” He went on to add, “You know, if I weren’t also still me, and it weren’t metaphysically impossible, I might actually be banging myself.”

Trump speaks Friday evening in Des Moines.


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