Tag Archives: trump
With 24 hours to go, ‘economic anxiety’ continues to fuel Trump’s surge
MOBILE – As the 2016 election winds into its last day voters across the country are taking one final opportunity to evaluate which candidate they’ll cast their ballot for this Tuesday. But here in Mobile, Alabama – in a state where Donald Trump currently has a 99.9% chance of winning on November 8th – it seems like most have […]
Hillary to millennials: Trump will take your LaCroix
DENVER – Speaking before a packed house of 18-34 year olds at the Denver Hilton Hotel Monday, Hillary Clinton began a new push to boost her appeal with the so-called ‘millennial vote’, a demographic with which she’s recently struggled. “Listen nerds, I know a lot of you don’t give two shits about the Supreme Court or […]
Donald Trump pivots; begins campaigning as beautiful young Dane
ALBUQUERQUE – Following his hiring Wednesday of former Breitbart Executive Chairman Steve Bannon and Republican strategist Kellyanne Conway, Donald Trump announced Friday morning he would begin pivoting his campaign to complete the 2016 election running as an attractive 19-year-old Danish model. “Listen folks, many people are saying Crooked Hillary Clinton just doesn’t have the stamina – […]
Trump to deliver speech Wednesday from 42nd St. Dave & Buster’s
NEW YORK – Amid reports that Donald Trump’s presidential campaign is down to only $1.3M in cash on hand, the candidate announced Tuesday he’ll deliver a blistering critique of Secretary Clinton’s chief executive qualifications Wednesday evening, from the party room at the 42nd St. Dave & Buster’s. “Secretary Clinton is terrible for the economy, doesn’t understand money,” […]
In bid to retake cable news cycle Trump seen railing Statue of Liberty
NEW YORK – Following the reported crash of EgyptAir flight MS804, en route from Paris to Cairo Thursday morning, a panicked Donald Trump was spotted at 8am EST in Times Square having vigorous sex with a mime dressed like the Statue of Liberty. “Oh God, we are making America great again folks, believe me!” said the former reality show star […]