By Dr. Milton F. Schrumpfmeister, PhD
OPINION – I have worked as a full professor in MIT’s Department of Aeronautics and Astronautics since 1974. In that time I have served as a technical advisor to Boeing, Airbus, Bombardier and the United States Air Force. I have logged over 5,000 hours of flight time in the cockpit of my own Cessna 162 Skycatcher, which I have twice disassembled and reassembled myself.
And I can say without equivocation that Bobby Thompson is totally full of shit.
Look at this little asshole, sitting on his bedroom floor, banking his LEGO 3831 Commuter Jet at well over 45 degrees, only inches off the ground. The kid has absolutely no idea what he’s doing. That aircraft is pulling more than 12Gs. Its passengers’ little LEGO heads are probably about to pop off. BUT YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT THAT, DO YOU ROBERT?
Bobby Thompson – (AP Photo)
Oh, and now you’re just going to land it vertically like a fucking X-Wing, Bobby? Do you know how jet engines work? What you’re doing doesn’t make any sense at all. And by the way, you just landed an airplane next to a pirate ship. Which means it’s now in the middle of the ocean and about 300 years in the past. Dummy.
Real quick Bobby, as it comes to mind: you think you’ll address the single set of random yellow legs stuck to your starboard wing there? Think that’ll be an issue in-flight? No? Just fly around a few more hours with body parts hanging off your aircraft? Seems responsible. Gotta get a policeman, a construction worker and Batman up on top of your mom’s ironing board, no time to waste showing the dead one fucking modicum of human decency.
You know what? Honestly? Go fuck yourself Bob.
And your Space Shuttle’s heat shield is made of plastic. All the astronauts are probably dead.
Dr. Milton F. Schrumpfmeister is the Timothy Q. Drucker Chair of Aeronautics at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology in Cambridge, Massachusetts.
(L&B)