Category Politics
Chicago teachers continue strike, vow to last until Thursday at most
CHICAGO – Protesting what their union has called an ‘unfair and uncompetitive’ compensation package, Chicago Teachers walked off the job Monday, leaving hundreds of thousands of students out of the classroom. “It’s about respect and dignity,” said union spokesperson Debbie Mitchell, on a call from her downtown office Tuesday morning. “To think we have 23 […]
White House defends weak August job numbers, admits heart not really in it
WASHINGTON – Releasing its monthly jobs report Friday, the Bureau of Labor Statistics reported the US had added only 96,000 new jobs in August, significantly fewer than forecast. The timing of the news, coming on the heels of the Democratic National Convention, presents a problem for President Obama, who’s recently been touting his role in […]
Sasha, Malia Obama hit the town, blow off school
CHARLOTTE – Despite a nationally televised plea from their father, first daughters Malia and Sasha Obama did not make it to their Washington D.C. area school Friday morning, amid wide reports they elected to spend their final night in Charlotte partying and drinking excessively. Having endured what Malia described as her dad’s “way boring” 42 […]
Drudge: Unaccompanied woman addresses crowd of liberals
CHARLOTTE – As reported initially by The Drudge Report, a lone, irate woman took the stage in Charlotte Tuesday night to address this year’s Democratic National Convention. Appearing without her husband, and baring uncovered shoulders, the woman spoke for approximately 25 minutes, while nearby security staff idly looked on. It is not presently clear whether […]
Democrats feverishly reshuffling convention to seriously not screw this one up you guys
CHARLOTTE – Chuck Nolan, spokesperson for this year’s Democratic National Convention, has said the DNC is working around the clock to lower expectations ahead of this week’s party meeting in Charlotte. “Following the RNC last week, we’ve determined our best strategy is to fill the next 72 hours with absolutely nothing”, said Nolan, addressing reporters […]
Supporters praise candidate’s atrocious life story, terrible family
NEW HAVEN – Introducing Joe Miller at a campaign rally this Friday, party surrogate and ardent supporter Tim Tomlins praised the candidate’s personal credentials, touting his ‘absolutely lousy, horrible family’. “This man; he’s a family man. In the last few days I’ve had a chance to get to know his trash bag wife Lorraine, and […]