JACKSON – With the 2014 Halloween season a mere 2 days away, all eyes are on 6-year old and top type II diabetes prospect Scott MacLean, of Jackson, Mississippi. MacLean, nicknamed “Mr. October” after putting up back-to-back 10,000 calorie Halloweens, has high hopes this year, setting the ambitious goal of reaching an insulin-defying blood-glucose level of 150 mg/dL. “His numbers have been truly astounding,” commented MacLean’s endocrinologist by phone Monday. “He’s the first 6-year old I’ve ever seen setting this kind of pace so early in his career. He’s also the first 6-year old I’ve ever had to see.”
Asked at a pre-trick-or-treat press conference Tuesday morning what sets him apart from his competition, MacLean was humble, and eager to share credit with the team that’s been built around him. “I’d love to stand here and tell you that what I’ve accomplished has come from my own diligent training, self-sacrifice and abject disinterest in any kind of physical activity,” said MacLean, stuffing his face with a fistful of Peanut Butter M&Ms. “But, frankly, I’d really be nowhere without two parents willing to feed me a diet saturated with added sugar, and a food industry so divorced from reality as to continually find new and inventive ways of cramming high-fructose corn syrup into bread, ketchup and ranch salad dressing.”
MacLean also revealed he’d be trick-or-treating this year wearing a blue ribbon in support of his older brother Dave, who last year had his dream of realizing type II diabetes crushed after developing a crippling addiction to salad and basketball.
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