BOSTON – Reports are flooding in that a massive, irate Mitt Romney is stomping through the streets of Boston, leaving a broad swath of destruction in his wake. According to witnesses, after conceding his Presidential campaign last night, Romney took several shots of Jameson, tipped over a large media platform, and burst through the Boston Convention Center’s granite front entrance. From there bystanders say he continued down the city’s famed Boylston St., smashing pedestrians, hurling cars, and buying, leveraging, and selling local businesses.
The huge 30 story Romney was last spotted demolishing brownstones in Boston’s South End neighborhood, reportedly attempting to hunt down an 8’2″ yellow talking bird.
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