Through vitriolic Twitter argument, Israeli, Palestinian teenagers solve Gaza conflict

TEL AVIV – Following a heated Twitter exchange, Seth Adom of Tel Aviv and Khalid Al Massri of Gaza appear to have solved and ended the ongoing bloody conflict that had been engulfing the Gaza strip.

The argument began around 10pm Monday evening, with Adom posting to his Twitter account a photo of Israel’s new Iron Dome defense system, with the attached caption: “Israel will never give up its right to #self-defense”. That photo was immediately countered by Al Massri, responding from the basement of his half-standing apartment building, “The Zionists will regret this incursion! We will make Israeli blood run to the sea!” The altercation continued in a similar fashion for the better part of an hour, with each subsequent message becoming increasingly irate.

Then, with a myriad of followers piling on, the disagreement reached a peak around 11:15pm, when Al Massri threatened “We will not be beaten! We are playing the long game.” Apparently taken aback, Adom’s feed went briefly quiet, until 11:30, when he replied, “Wait, is that from Homeland? No way, I love Homeland!”

Over the course of the next several hours, the two exchanged pleasantries, discussed common interests (sushi, Foo Fighters, Kelly from Saved by the Bell), and eventually formed a friendship based on a mutual respect for their shared humanity. In one noted back and forth, Adom conceded that Israel was “probably not being all that cool”, while Al Massri confessed that multiple decades of suicide bombings was “totally on him”.

Word of the settlement reached both sides’ military command early Tuesday morning, with the leaders of Israel and Hamas agreeing to an immediate and unconditional cease fire. “I always knew in my heart,” said Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, speaking to reporters, “if we just could find a way to bring together participants in one of the longest, most violent conflicts in modern history, on a completely uncensored and anonymous social media platform, cooler heads and reasoned discourse would prevail.”

As of mid-day Tuesday, Adom and Al Massri were reportedly very high, and enjoying their eighth hour playing Call of Duty.

Israel and Palestine are scheduled to meet for a soccer friendly next week, then go out for beers.


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