WASHINGTON – In the wake of the ongoing scandal involving an affair between former Director of the CIA David Petraeus, his biographer Paula Broadwell, and Miami socialite Jill Kelly, media outlets and top lawmakers are scrambling for information. Appearing on The Situation Room Tuesday afternoon, Senator Diane Feinstein, Chair of the Senate Intelligence Committee was visceral in her outrage. “The question I want answered, and the American people want answered is, exactly how large is David Petraeus’s penis? And not only that, what shape is it? Does it curve one way or another? David Petraeus had access to classified information and regardless of whether his affair was any risk to national security at all, I want to be absolutely sure as to whether he was a top or a bottom.”
Prompted by Wolf Blitzer as to when she expected Congress to turn its attention to the nation’s looming economic crisis, Feinstein expressed she was so far unaware of anyone named Physical Cliff, but that the Senate would be investigating whether or not he’d had sex with either woman.
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