Category Sports

NFL announces new effort cracking down on rampant expense policy abuse

NEW YORK – In the wake of several recent allegations of domestic violence involving NFL players, including the Baltimore Ravens’ Ray Rice and Minnesota Vikings’ Adrian Peterson, the league Wednesday unveiled a comprehensive new program aimed at curbing what has come to be seen as excessive expense policy abuse. Speaking at a press conference in New York Wednesday morning, […]

Nation’s boyfriends distraught over ever-broadening definition of faking it

SOUTH BEND – America’s boyfriends were sent reeling Wednesday after news surfaced that the long held definition of having your sexual partner ‘fake it’ was being substantially widened, to include a broad range of instances where a girlfriend simply does not exist at all. Reacting while sobbing, head-in-hands at the foot of his girlfriend’s bed, […]

NFL kicks off fifth annual Fabulous Uniform Month

PITTSBURGH – As it has for the last 5 Octobers, this Sunday the National Football League once again kicked off its annual ‘NFL Super Fabulous Uniforms Month’. Celebrating the NFL’s proud tradition of strong, statuesque men in tight little pants, for the next 4 weeks all teams will adorn their on-field uniforms with several items […]

Americans continue to weigh in on NFL officiating blunder

KABUL – Two days after Monday night’s NFL officiating controversy, in which the Seattle Seahawks were awarded a game-winning touchdown on what appeared to be an incomplete pass, emotional fan reactions are still pouring in. “At this point, I think we can now all agree the replacement refs have shown they’re unable to officiate at […]

As NHL lockout continues, Americans scramble for new sport to ignore

TORONTO – Despite months of negotiations, both the NHLPA and NHL owners this weekend failed to reach a new collective bargaining agreement, sending the league into lockout as of 12am Sunday morning. And while the news has caused outrage across Canada, the sport’s largest market, many commentators are suggesting those hardest hit reside south of […]