Monthly Archives: May 2016

In bid to retake cable news cycle Trump seen railing Statue of Liberty

NEW YORK – Following the reported crash of EgyptAir flight MS804, en route from Paris to Cairo Thursday morning, a panicked Donald Trump was spotted at 8am EST in Times Square having vigorous sex with a mime dressed like the Statue of Liberty. “Oh God, we are making America great again folks, believe me!” said the former reality show star […]

“You morons”; ghost of George Washington scolds nation

NEW YORK – Following Donald Trump’s nomination-clinching win in Tuesday’s Indiana primary, the ghost of George Washington stopped by Fox News late Tuesday evening to castigate the nation he helped usher into existence. “This is why you can’t have nice things”, said the 1st President of the United States, hovering high above the city that bears his name. “I […]