Monthly Archives: April 2016

"Whatchu want, soda? Some purple stuff?" Hanson poses for 'Sunny D' album cover. (AP Photo)

Hanson unexpectedly drops 7th studio album, ‘Sunny D’

NASHVILLE – Hanson fans awoke to quite the surprise Friday morning, with the American pop band unexpectedly releasing its 7th studio album, ‘Sunny D’, simultaneously on both Tidal and as a ‘visual album’ on HBO Go. ‘Sunny D’ explores the complexities and challenges of the band’s upbringing in and around Jenks, Oklahoma, and delves deep into issues of […]

"It is not radical to say that cereal should not come from a glass cylinder, with a little crank on the bottom. Cereal should come from a box." Sen. Sanders speaks with supporters Wednesday. (AP Photo)

Sanders: Large corporations are destroying America’s complimentary hotel breakfasts

WEST VIRGINIA – Despite four primary losses Tuesday and a near impossible path to the Democratic nomination, Senator Bernie Sanders continued his campaign’s push through West Virginia early Wednesday, with a speaking stop in the breakfast lounge/ multi-purpose space of a Huntington, West Virginia Days Inn. “For too long we have allowed large corporations to ruin our discount hotels’ complimentary breakfasts” […]

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Cruz, Kasich unite to stop Brady

WASHINGTON – Appealing to fans of the NFL’s 31 non-New England Patriots, presidential candidates Ted Cruz and John Kasich announced Monday they’d agreed to coordinate their remaining campaign efforts on states where each had the best chance of winning, all in an effort to prevent the eventual election of a president likely to appoint a […]

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After New York win, Hillary begins push to woo Bernie voters

NEW YORK – Following her commanding victory in the New York Democratic primary Tuesday night, Hillary Clinton spoke Wednesday with supporters at a rally in Stamford, CT, informally beginning her general election appeal to Senator Sanders’ more typically young, white, urban voters. “I get you folks! You millennial hip guys and gals! With your snapping and […]

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President Cruz signs ‘Modesty in Adult Relations Act’

March 8th, 2017 WASHINGTON – This morning in an Oval Office ceremony, President Ted Cruz signed into law H.R. 26, The Modesty in Adult Relations Act, formally requiring that all American sexual intercourse now be exclusively between two married, heterosexual adults, wearing at least business casual, at a maximum frequency of once per fiscal quarter, performed through a […]

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Editorial: Bobby Thompson, 6, doesn’t have a fucking clue how airplanes work

By Dr. Milton F. Schrumpfmeister, PhD OPINION – I have worked as a full professor in MIT’s Department of Aeronautics and Astronautics since 1974. In that time I have served as a technical advisor to Boeing, Airbus, Bombardier and the United States Air Force. I have logged over 5,000 hours of flight time in the cockpit of my own Cessna […]